bad dreams

Oh my gosh, I think if I get another bad dream I will cry. Every night for the past 2 or 3 nights I wake up from having nightmares. I have gone so long without them like months, maybe years and now I keep getting them. I just want a peaceful nights sleep, dreams are okay just not nightmares. I honestly don't understand why I keep getting them. I didn't even watch anything on tv that would give me nightmares, except yesterday but it wasn't even scary what I watched.. it was NCIS (my favorite). I don't know what's going on.. it's just driving me crazy!

Overwhelmed

Ahh school is definitely extremely overwhelming right now. Basically to the point where I am very stressed out. I've been really struggling with other things and today was just the tip of the iceberg of being stressed out. Just when I thought I was caught up on most of my work and getting things done early... BOOM my professor decides to tell us a week before our project is due, there is more to the project than just doing the different stages of my unit plan. I'm thinking that stressed is one of the most frequent words in my vocabulary and I would love to get it out of my vocabulary. So I am really going to work on becoming less stressed and actually manage it better than I do now.

My semester is almost over, thank goodness!! I can't wait to be done! Although, I do wish that I was graduating this May. If only I didn't change my major 7 times :) My last day of classes is May 19th! Then I leave 2 weeks later for the summer. I'm really looking forward to this summer and I'm hoping for a better summer too. Last summer was difficult because my grandma got very sick and ended up passing away. On Monday of this week it would have been her 78th birthday. I can't get the image out of my head the day of the wake. I really wish she was still here with us but I know she isn't suffering anymore. I just still really miss her...a lot.

I have so much work to get done, so I better get on that! Tomorrow is my first day back skating, well I did compete last saturday, after being very sick.. hopefully my legs won't give up on my like they did at the competition that I shouldn't have competed in. I just can't wait to get back on the ice and not be sick :)

Okay.. so I really am going to go do homework now.

Ok...seriously

This is absolutely ridiculous! Now i have pneumonia. Can my week get any worse? I'm not sure that it can. I hate being sick. Taking my nebulizer then inhaler, then cough medicine, then pulmicort, then antibiotic....ugh. Tonight it would be really nice if I can sleep through the night.
Missing 3 days of school, 2 days of work... i need money and my education. I want to boycott getting sick.. actually thats not a bad idea if I could just not get sick. hmm... maybe i'll come up with a magic potion that will never make me sick anymore. Anyone good at science?
Well i'm off to try to go to sleep... attempt to sleep all night.
Night!

Not the best of luck

Hoping at the beginning of the week that all I was having were allergy troubles. Everyday I progressively got worse. So with my luck I ended up with an upper respiratory infection/bronchitis. Of course this would happen to me right when I have a lot of things going on. I'm not allowed in school/work tomorrow if I don't wake up feel marvelous. Obviously that's not going to happen and of course it's a day when a big assignment is due. Figures this would happen to me.
On Friday I taught my 2nd lesson and it went really well. I taught a reading lesson on making predictions. I read the book Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and the students loved it! They kept saying how they saw the movie and they were always giggling as I read it. Although while reading it I didn't have much of a voice and I had a hard time breathing.
I kept insisting to my mom Friday night that I was fine but she put the thermometer near my face and said "here, put this in your mouth." I tried to prove her wrong but she was right, I did have a fever. So I have been in all weekend except for this morning to go to the walk in care at the hospital.
I'm so sick of being of being in side this weekend. Actually, I don't like being inside for more than a few hours. I had plans for tonight that had to be canceled. Hopefully things will be back to normal on Tuesday. Although luckily, I don't have to be to school til 1 on Tuesday! So I am very excited about that! Not too much has really happened this past week. I have just been doing a lot of sleeping and homework. Nothing too eventful. This week will definitely be more eventful! I have my competition on Saturday. Finally during my lesson on Thursday I nailed my camel spin, which is looks like a spiral when you are spinning. One leg is at least a 90˚ angle while my other leg is spinning on the ice. Its hard to explain but it looks really cool. So my coach was able to change the spins in my program because I nailed my camel spin.
Well, i'm watching something on tv about the Kennedy's and then i'm going to bed.

Night!!!

Seriously

Another snow day, this is ridiculous. It's spring now and there is only a dusting on the ground! Not that i'm complaining about having a snow day, I just had things to do at the elementary school to prepare my lesson to teach next week. Now..... I can't. Off to the teacher's store I go I guess. That will be a fun trip anyway, they should have lots of cool things.
I have been so busy this week. I had 2 exams, one in which I didn't finish because a. I ran out of time (even with extended time) and b. I couldn't remember the answers even though I studied. The other exam that I took yesterday, I actually think I did better on compared to the first test I took. Although a few questions I couldn't remember the answers so I just put something random that sounded good. The test I took yesterday is supposed to be Monday but I had to take it early because I have an appointment far away so I'm not going to be around.
Since the roads aren't bad, at least from looking outside, I will hopefully get more  hours at work today. Even if it's not a full day I hope for more hours. Then tonight I have a birthday party for one of the boys I babysit for, my coach's husband's son. It's at the ice rink and i'm supposed to help kids skate! I'm so excited to help :)
Yesterday at the rink I took time out of my practice to instead help two young kids skate. One was 3 years old and when I was teaching him, he kept saying, "I can't" and I replied "I know you can!" He was very young but I got him going more than he was before but I'm hoping that after I left he started to get the hang of it.
I love helping people, especially kids. If I only get one thing in life, it would be to help at least just one child succeed.

On a funny note, I was writing in my deposit from work today and instead of writing deposit I started writing April Fools :) haha. I need to play a good joke on my dad today, I just don't know what yet.

Competition

Well...... my first event went pretty well. Although, I fell out of a spin. I didn't actually "fall" but I didn't stay in the spin. I competed against the books which is actually a lot harder than competing against other people. For my next event it was my program, "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy," now this one I had already started getting anxious even before I went on the ice. So therefore I psyched myself out and didn't do as well. But because I was anxious and I was already convinced I wasn't going to do well, I didn't do as well. Now I feel that I have to punish myself because I should have done better, especially when I have nailed it so many times before. It's upsetting when this happens because I wanted it to be perfect and it wasn't.
My body image is horrible and looking at the pictures that I just posted on facebook makes me upset and it makes me more anxious.

But enough complaining.... I did have fun today and that's what counts! I can't wait to compete again on April 16th :)

Skating Show/Competition

This skating season went by so fast!! Last night I had my show. I skated in 3 programs. I thought I did pretty good. It has been such a busy week. I was preparing all week for the show and competition this weekend. After rewatching my solo program last night, even though I didn't land one of my jumps on one foot, I still think I didn't do well. Although, others think differently. They all say I did really well. I have 2 more chances to nail my program like I have done in the past few weeks. It's extremely frustrating when I nail my program numerous times throughout the week and that didn't happen last night. I wasn't even nervous, so I'm not sure what happened.
I am giving myself 2 more chances to nail the program, today and in a few weeks at another competition. I worked so hard on this program and I will be upset if I don't nail it. I have my first event at the competition at 9:40 so I have to get going since I have to be there an hour before I compete and it takes me over an hour to get there.
I will post later on how I did at the competition today!!